I used to take feedback personally.
As if they're violent attacks to my worth. As if they always mean I'm doing something terribly wrong, that I'm not enough, and that it's a surefire sign that I'll fail in life. So when my boss/friend/mentor gave me "the talk" on how I could improve my performance last week, I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't feel like defending myself. I didn't feel small either.
Grateful for the challenge to grow, grateful for the gift of perspective wrapped with respect and kindness, and grateful that I have people in my life who can be honest with me when needed.
While I swear by thinking for oneself, it is equally important to be receptive to feedback. The challenge is knowing which ones to take seriously and which ones to shrug off.
I used to not vet which feedback is actually true and for my good or just something that someone would blurt out to bring me down. But now I have three rules for filtering feedback:
1. Only entertain and examine feedback from people that you trust—those who know you enough and care about you and your growth—not from insecure people who just love to tear others down, gossip, or badmouth other people.
2. Only entertain and examine feedback from people whose life exemplify whatever it is that they're preaching or suggesting that you do.
3. Only entertain and examine feedback when given not with contempt but with respect and a genuine desire for you to thrive.