#18: Choose Your Battles

This is how you'll win the war.

#18: Choose Your Battles
Photo from Twitter

Not every battle has to be fought.

Not every attack warrants a counterattack.

Not every argument has to be won.

Because anger isn't only one of our six basic emotions—it also serves as a "a protector of our raw feelings." When someone is angry, chances are, beneath their harsh words and fury lie other feelings such as embarrassment, loneliness, depression, or fear. So before responding to someone else's anger with your own fiery anger, pause and collect yourself.

Someone's anger can scare you, make you feel small, or stir negative emotions within you, but remember: that person may also be going through tough times and fighting battles we don't know about.

Sometimes, their reaction is mostly about them—their experiences, perspective, and character. It may not be all on you, so don't take it personally. If you find it hard to do this, try replacing the image of an angry adult screaming and throwing tantrums with an image of their inner child—scared, hurt, or lonely.

Softness and sweet silence aren't weak—there's wisdom in knowing when to brave a battle and when to wave the white flag.

"Some people think that "choosing your battles" is weak or calculating. How could reducing the amount of times we fail or minimizing the number of needless injuries inflicted upon us be weak? How is that a bad thing? As the saying goes, discretion is the better part of valor...Think hard before choosing..."  — The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

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