#15: Situationships Suck

Like vampires.

#15: Situationships Suck
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If you want to lose yourself trying to win someone else's approval and affection...

If anxiously waiting for a text or phone call that usually never comes is your jam...

If hot and cold behavior doesn't faze you...

If you crave shame and guilt like you crave McDonald's fries and Coke float (which is almost every other midnight for me)...

I highly recommend situationships.

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"A situationship is that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship." — Danielle Page, NBC News

If you value consistency, commitment, and genuine love—and you'd like something more with the other person—this isn't for you, though. (Hot tip: Don't take on the challenge of changing someone's mind. It rarely works).

But if you're all for having fun, stringing someone along to feed your ego, taking control, or don't mind losing the other person for good—this might be right up your alley.

If you're in one right now—you're either hurting yourself or someone else (Unless you both are not that into each other—which I'm guessing isn't the case since you're reading this).

Tried it only once so I don't have that much story to share, but I've heard enough stories from friends to conclude the following...

Situationships suck time

Life is short, and we'll never know when our time here on earth will be up. There's no point in wasting weeks or months of our lives in a relationship that isn't a relationship that's low-effort and doesn't even meet our needs.

Situationships suck energy

The sleepless nights overthinking if you'll ever mean something and become more than just a fling. The unfocused work days because you keep wondering why they didn't text you today. The stressing over whether that girl from work isn't really "just a friend," combined with the agony of not having the right to ask for reassurance every time you're anxious because you have to keep things drama-free. All these and more could drain the life out of you.

Situationships suck resources

If you like the person and would consider having something more with them in the future (but they do not feel the same way towards you), you might have to invest more because the other person isn't interested in impressing you. You'll carry the weight of making plans, adjusting your schedule, shelling out, and abandoning your own needs most of the time because you don't want them to be disappointed and pull back from you.

Situationships suck self-respect, self-esteem, and security

Even the most confident person could end up doubting themselves and their worth if you keep them long enough in such label-less relationship, starving for gentle, genuine love that makes them feel safe and secure.

You deserve more than this

You deserve thoughtful plans, not just cheap rendezvous behind the mall. You deserve to be celebrated, not tolerated. You deserve to be in the penthouse, not kept in the basement. And you shouldn't have to ruin yourself a million little times trying to love someone who doesn't love you enough to commit to you.

And yes, those are Taylor Swift lyrics. Listen to them, thank me later.

TL;DR: Obviously the topic is very nuanced. But this post is just a reminder that if you like someone but all they want/can offer you is some sort of situationship and they've been very clear and honest about that, don't make it your mission to change their mind and hope they magically fall in love with you one day. Because if you get hurt in the end, you only have yourself to blame then.

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